Category Archives: unnecessary comments

If You Can’t Say Anything Nice

Just in case you’re out and about and see a very pregnant woman with children at her side, here are a few comments you might want to keep to yourself:

– You sure do have your hands full!

– You know how that keeps happening right?

– How old are your children? (my answer… 6, 4, and 2 with one due in January) So… you must go into heat every two years!

– You look tired… you really should take a nap (me- great…you want to come babysit while I do that?)

– Are they all your’s?

– (When I’m out by myself) Aw… congrats! When’s the baby due? Is this your first? (no… I have three at home)… silence… confusion… dismay. Oh… wow.

– Do you know what you’re having? (another girl… that makes one boy and three girls) Aw… your poor son (said in front of son) (please don’t make my son feel like God made a mistake when putting our family together or that he has somehow been cheated because he has so many sisters and no brother!)

There are so, so, so many unnecessary comments that people feel the need to share. What compels people to say these things to pregnant women, mothers, fathers, etc? I thought it was just mothers of multiple children, but my sister in law who only has one for now was told the other day, “You sure do have your hands full!” Wow.. if her hands are full.. then mine are down right overflowing!

Let’s remember the words of our mothers on this one… “If you can’t say anything nice… don’t say anything at all”… and please… let’s consider that sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me is the biggest lie. Words hurt people! And words especially hurt hormonal, sleep deprived pregnant mamas!

Next time you see a mama or daddy… pregnant, frazzled or perfectly composed, try these on for size:

– What a beautiful family

– Good job

– Can I get that door for you?

– Children are such a blessing, aren’t they?

– treasure these days

– you all must have so much fun together

Excuse me while I step down from my soap box.

PS… I know I’ve blogged about this kind of thing before… on our family blog and probably on here… forgive me… but since I heard a new comment the other day (the one about going into heat every two years), my dander has been up and I just had to vent!

What crazy comments have you heard? What things would you rather people just keep to themselves. Come on and share so we can all have a good laugh!

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Hands Full

Ninety percent…let’s make that ninety-five percent of the time I am out and about, I am accompanied by three little monkeys (ages 5, 3, and 1). They go with me to the grocery store, Target, the chiropractor, the Y, the bank, the library…you get the point.
Before exiting the car, we always go over the rules that pertain to the establishment we are about to enter. They all agree that they will be on their best behavior and off we go.

Without fail, regardless of the way my children are acting or where we are…the comment I hear the most is “you sure do have your hands full.” My husband and I have tried to think of a good response…maybe “yes, and so is my heart” or “yes, full of blessings”.

Generally however, when I hear that comment, my blood begins to boil and I want to respond with, “what are you trying to say” or “don’t judge me” or “thank you captain obvious” or ” Don’t just stand there…help me!”

And more often than not, when the comment is offered, my children are exhibiting some behavior that might label them as a “handful.” My children are wiggily, curious, loud, “helpful,” and as shocking as it may be…sinners…just like you and me. To be honest, when I don’t get my way, I am tempted to throw a temper tantrum too!

I often feel like I am some exhibit in the local zoo that people gawk at. I feel judged because I have three young children. But here’s the thing…I love my children. I love that they are close in age. I love that they are active and into everything and not couch potatoes. I love that they are curious and eccentric. I have been humbled by the responsibility given to us as parents. I am encouraged that God has called me to be a mom despite my obvious short comings. My children are loving, compassionate and friendly. They will make an impact for God’s kingdom.

So…to those who feel the need to point out how full my hands are or comment on how they have been there and never want to go back…Or my personal “favorite”- “don’t you know how that happens?” (referring to how we got the kids in the first place)- Remember what your mother said, “if you don’t have anything nice to say…don’t say anything at all!”

However, there are some comments that I welcome and that keep me going for days…

So…

Thank you to the lady who said, “you must have so much fun.” and to the man who said “good job.” Your encouragement means so much!

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Filed under children, parenting, unnecessary comments